From Whence I come

Heritage, Roles, Expectations

15 Things

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I am not cut out to be a housewife- our house is embarrassing 97% of the time.  I can’t get after the boys to clean their rooms because our room is the worst one in the house, but I think my family is afraid to point that out to me, although Ben has commented on … Read more

Becoming a Writer

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I vividly remember learning to write my name in kindergarten. Miss Dolan hand wrote the letters to trace in colored marker, on long, yellowish double-spaced penmanship paper with green lines. I got so excited when my teacher used orange for my letters (not to mention how impressed I was that same year, when I discovered … Read more

Split Personalities?

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The Artist’s Way at Work by Julia Cameron asserts that we each have several inner selves. This is illustrated by example through the naming (e.g., Neat Nigel) the different aspects and then working to nourish the healthy aspects and let the more interfering parts fade. For some reason giving them people’s names seems too dangerous- like feeding into the danger of dissociating. Is this my crazy-self speaking? There! I have identified one:
Crazy Clara: sees the world at times in a unique light, from a different plane. She can be so exceptionally spiritual that reaction from others to her openness and self perceived understanding make her question her sanity. Her emotional volatility and sense of instability contribute to her feelings of craziness which have been nurtured through the years by family, professionals and townspeople.
Qualities: Fear/openness to spirit.
Raging Regina: Is touched off by insignificant events and once she enters into the spiral has difficulty distracting from the scapegoat of present choice. She realizes she is becoming out of control, yet continues to pick and pick, eventually blowing up, saying something inappropriate, and then being swept away by guilt and self loathing.
Qualities: Anger, blame, resentment/remorse and forgiveness, admittance of wrong
Honest Anna: Attempts to be upfront, at times to a fault, creating hurt by sharing observations and perceptions, or being “real”; has a tendency toward righteousness when in fact still has a tendency to deceive self and others as necessary.
Sensual Sarah: aware and appreciative of the richness provided by her senses. She wants the most beautiful and pleasing and comforting music, scenery, surroundings, scents, food- and loves to share the wonder of it all.
Qualities: Opinionated/ observant and appreciative
Penelope People Pleaser: Puts tremendous energy into trying to brighten someone’s day, to impress people with honesty, generosity, creativity, have a positive and lasting impact on the lives of children and elderly. Qualities: Inadequacy, shyness, fear/ enthusiasm, gratitude, love.
Oh, there are more.  Disorganized Dora.  Creative Christina…  Identifying some of our inner selves is a way to make a personal inventory; to seek out those pieces of ourselves that may have been lost in the shuffle and want to be picked up, brushed off and improved upon.
                                                                                                                                                                                    RDW10/2018